To Be a Grandmother

I am sitting on my bed in my daughter's house. I have been here since yesterday as SIL (son-in-law) is out of town on business. Rachel is happily lying beside me, cooing and doing all the bodily movements a 6 week old baby does. My daughter, Pam is driving Sammy to daycare. Sammy is so sweet with Rachel. He handles her tenderly. Mostly, it is all about him, however. Ever since Rachel was born he has been a terror in the house. He only wants his mommy or daddy to handle him and even then he is not too agreeable. Typical for a two year old he must do all things HIS way. He keeps his parents hopping. I have learned to let him come to me for hugs and playtime. When I tried to hug and kiss him before, he would have such a fit you would think someone was butchering him!! With my new personae, he is different towards me. Last night we spent an hour downstairs playing while Pam nursed Rachel upstairs. This morning, the same thing. He even came over and hugged me saying, "Aw, Mom Mom, I love you!" Can you just die?

Do You Believe In Me?

I found this to be inspiring. Please hear what our children have to say. Our children are our future. They rely on us to take them there safely, securely, and with confidence. The rest is up to them; and if we believe in them, they will succeed.

Freedom and Celebration

First I want to thank Beth at Nutwood Junction for supplying the wine...oops, I mean the picture of the wine and wine glass. I snagged it from her blog. Thanks, Beth!! (sip) The latest pictures on the side bar represent my state of mind after knee surgery: freedom and celebration. I feel like a 19 year old again. No pain and raring to go. But my 61 yo (soon to be 62 on Nov 1st) body just doesn't want to hear it! So call me 39. That's OK. I am pain free...reason enough to celebrate. Today I took Sheba for our usual 2.5 mile walk around a beautiful wooded nature trail which surrounds Haverford College (Bryn Mawr, PA). The leaves have turned and the view is spectacular. The Canada Geese must have gotten the report that I was home and raring to go because they honked and flapped their wings rhythmically as if in salute to my coming. They even got up into a flight formation and flew around the pond for a moment. I swear it was in recognition of my homecoming!! (giggle) Even Sheba felt the change. She was energetic and wanting to chase anything that looked suspicious. THAT was how I tore my meniscus. She was leashed, but acted as if she were free...and boom! off she went in one direction, I in the opposite direction, and the rest is history. So I was careful and paid close attention to Sheba. I kept her leash tight, but not too tight. When we got to the open field, I took off the leash and let her run. She ran like the wind. I could feel myself running with her. It was exhilarating! Watching her, that is. When we got home, I continued my celebration with 10 leg lifts and arm rolls, lots of stretching exercises, and walked a flight of stairs 6 times. I rode my stationary bike for 10 minutes, too. I blew it all with an egg sandwich for lunch. But that's OK. I got up. I got out. I exercised. This is something I couldn't do for the past year and a half. It felt like freedom.

What Does Age Have to Do With It?

I wear hearing devices. I had to get them a year ago when I finally had enough with the “What did you say?” format of my conversations with students and friends. I’m OK with the hearing devices…one in each ear. I have severe hearing loss. Some day I may even have no hearing at all. The ENT doctor and the Audiologist attributed my hearing loss to age, (ugh!) and the possibility that I had gone to too many rock concerts in my day. Now listen up people…one can NEVER go to too many rock concerts! I go today. I may be one of the elders at these gigs, but I go, and I have fun. Why do I write about this? I am doing so because I am amazed. I am amazed at my body, its degeneration; and my mind and its youthfulness. How can the two coincide? This must be an age thing. I know I never questioned my body’s ability to keep up with my spirit (and boy oh boy, my spirit sure is something else). I just did what I wanted to do –whenever I wanted to do it (within respectable limits and reason). Just a few years ago I went motorcycling with a boyfriend across Colorado. I really did (girls, it helps to be single for this one; it adds to the fantasy that you may be having just about now). I went skiing at Jackson Hole, Mammoth Valley and other Western slopes just a few years ago, too. I have gone whitewater rafting, hiked the trails of the Grand Canyon and camped out near there (too advanced for me to actually camp in the Canyon, but if I was braver, I would have), and meditated with a Guru, ate vegetarian, and did Yoga for a while. I don’t think I have done it all. I still desire a safari in Africa, a waterskiing adventure on the Caribbean, and a helicopter ride, maybe parasailing, but that scares me so I don’t know about that one. So there it is…my mind is restless. It’s because the pain in my knee is gone and I am feeling “youthful”. Maybe it’s the ever present desire to do something “alive”. Do you know what I mean? The degeneration of my body speaks volumes of the desire to continue to live life to the fullest. Just because I can’t hear and just because my knee went south on me, doesn’t mean I have to stop living. Am I right? What do you think??

I'm Back!

Hello Dear Friends, I am back from the world of drug induced sleep to report that all went well. As you well know, the night before surgery was the pits as I spent wasted time agonizing over what may happen before, during and after the operation. Wasted time, I say!! The day of surgery was smooth and actually pleasant. The nurses and staff were welcoming and compassionate. I did not have surgery in a hospital but rather in a surgical center that only does outpatient procedures. What an operation! - The business, not the procedure -All state-of-the-art equipment. Young, did I say YOUNG doctors, nurses, staff, and pleasant atmosphere. They kept asking my name and birth date. Couldn’t they read it on my wrist band? I know, I know…if I couldn’t answer the questions I would be in big trouble. So they wheel me into the operating room and Dr. Anesthesia asks me for my name and birth date. I told him I was Sophia Loren and I was born to be young. Then I told him that I had been asked that question so many times that I felt the need to be comical. He laughed. The staff laughed. Then they were silent…No, really, what is your name and birth date? I gave them the correct information. The last words I heard were: “Don’t touch the leg. She’s not under anesthesia, yet!” Do you think it was their revenge joke on me? I hope so!! I spent Thursday, Friday, Saturday, and Sunday sleeping. I didn’t like the dreams. They were weird. But I had no pain, at all. So it was worth the trade-off. Today, I return to my house and resume a life without drugs. I don’t kneed them (get the spelling pun?) I have no pain, just soreness, and I am walking. I see the good doctor in two days and then begin physical therapy. Love to all and thank you for the good energy that got me through the “rough” spots of pre-surgery jitters.

The Night Before Surgery

Tomorrow is the big day. By tomorrow night I will be pain free of torn meniscus and only handling superficial pain from surgery. I am so mixed with feelings and I don't know why. On one hand I am grateful that I can have this surgery at this time when medical technology is so apt and recovery will be a breeze; and yet, I am so fearful of what may go wrong while I am under anesthesia. I believe my age has much to do with these conflicted feelings. If I was thirty years younger, I would have less life experience and therefore fewer ideas to imagine in what could go wrong. On the other hand, I am an elder and therefore wise. I expect myself to think wisely, knowing the surgery is minor and the outcome will be stupendous. After all, I will be able to run...I love to run. I haven't ran in over a year and my weight gain is evidence of that. I will be able to cross my legs, walk steps without wincing, dance while listening to my iPod, and a boatload of other stuff (lucky Bob!!) Hi Bob! [sip] (that one is for Beth at Nutwood Junction-go ask her about it). I am believing what I feel tonight is normal, but I don't like the feeling. So there, I've said it! I don't like green eggs and ham!! Agh! Ok, ok...It's off my chest. Now I can go watch the Phillies slaughter the Dodgers and go to the World Series. Go Phillies!!

All about my boyfriend, Bob

This coming Thursday I will have my right knee operated on. I tore the meniscus last year and have lived with the darn thing, thinking the pain would either go away or I could live with it. Neither has happened. I walk around in a manner that reaps pain in other’s eyes. I moan at night and groan during the day. My disposition is horrid, sometimes, and the pain cloud over my head is ever present. Why would anyone want to love me, let alone be with me? Ask my boyfriend, Bob, he thinks I’m fantastic. He wouldn’t change a thing. He loves me just the way I am (except he would like to see me lose weight. I know this because he said so. That’s another entry for another time…you don’t want me to go there, not here. This is a love letter). Anyway, Bob has gone out and bought all the food I love to eat, and other items I may need, so I can be comfortable while I recuperate from the operation at his house. He is such a dear. I have bored him to no end with anxious chatter about the operation, going under anesthesia, the doctor’s qualifications, the recovery time, my future, and heaven knows what else. In my mind, it was bad enough that I ran myself ragged caring for my daughter and mother these past weeks, and not see him, but he does not complain; he just keeps on loving me and telling me how happy he is to have found me. This is a man who loves me. Sometimes I wish I can love myself as much as he loves me.

Taking care of the Caregiver

Hello dear friends, The last few posts have been submitted as snags from emails I get from friends. They make me giggle...the snags and my friends...so I posted them here. It's been an exhausting time for me as I care for my daughter and her newborn, my mother, and try to be an attentive girlfriend to my boyfriend and my girlfriends. No one expects me to do all that I do, but they are grateful, and I am content as it is who I am, Caregiver. However, even the Caregiver needs nurturing after a while and this is the time I choose to do so. I gave my mother and my daughter notice that the coming week is about caring for myself. They lovingly agreed and will seek assistance from other family members, if needed. So what will I do with my time now that it is not spent caring for others? I plan to meet girlfriends for lunch or dinner, go to a Peter Nero Pops Concert with my boyfriend, sleep late if I want to, take a nap if I want to, walk around in my pajamas all morning until noon if I want to, knit, read, sit and enjoy the Fall in Pennsylvania as the leaves are changing and it is a beautiful sight. In other words, I will allow my spirit to rejuvenate so I can remain strong for myself and others. I am so proud of myself for taking care of myself. This sense of empowerment gives me great inner strength and reinforces my thinking that I am deserving of such "selfishness". After all, not only do I benefit from caring for myself, but others reap the rewards as well.

IMPORTANT HEALTH ADVICE FOR WOMEN

This was sent to me to share with you. I do not know who the author is, but I agree with all that is said and want all of you to know that this is valid information based on personal research. Do you have feelings of inadequacy? Do you suffer from shyness?Do you sometimes wish you were more assertive? If you answered yes to any of these questions, ask your doctor or pharmacist about Chardonnay. Chardonnay is the safe, natural way to feel better and more confident about yourself and your actions. Chardonnay can help ease you out of your shyness and let you tell the world that you're ready and willing to do just about anything. You will notice the benefits of Chardonnay almost immediately and with a regimen of regular doses you can overcome any obstacles that prevent you from living the life you want to live. Shyness and awkwardness will be a thing ofthe past and you will discover many talents you never knew you had. Stop hiding and start living. Chardonnay may not be right for everyone. Women who are pregnant or nursing should not use Chardonnay. However, women who wouldn't mind nursing or becoming pregnant are encouraged to try it. Side effects may include dizziness, nausea, vomiting, incarceration, erotic lustfulness, loss of motor control, loss of clothing, loss of money, loss of virginity, delusions of grandeur, table dancing, headache, dehydration, drymouth, and a desire to sing Karaoke and play all-night rounds of Strip Poker,Truth Or Dare, and Naked Twister! WARNINGS: * The consumption of Chardonnay may make you think you are whispering when you are not. * The consumption of Chardonnay may cause you to tell your friends over and over again that you love them. * The consumption of Chardonnay may cause you to think you can sing. * The consumption of Chardonnay may make you think you can logically converse with members of the opposite sex without spitting. Now Just Imagine What You Could Achieve With a Good Merlot!

Some Wise Sayings

Sometimes, when I look at my children, I say to myself,'Lillian , you should have remained a virgin.' - Lillian Carter (mother of Jimmy Carter) <><> I had a rose named after me and I was very flattered. But I was not pleased to read the description in the catalog: - 'No good in a bed, but fine against a wall.' - Eleanor Roosevelt ;

<><> Last week, I stated this woman was the ugliest woman I had ever seen. I have since been visited by her sister, and now wish to withdraw that statement. - Mark Twain <><> The secret of a good sermon is to have a good beginning and a good ending; and to have the two as close together as possible. - George Burns Santa Claus has the right idea. Visit people only once a year. - Victor Borge <><> Be careful about reading health books. You may die of a misprint. - Mark Twain <><> By all means, marry. If you get a good wife, you'll become happy; if you get a bad one, you'll become a philosopher. - Socrates <><> I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury. - Groucho Marx <><> My wife has a slight impediment in her speech. Every now and then she stops to breathe. - Jimmy Durante <><> I have never hated a man enough to give his diamonds back. - Zsa Zsa Gabor <><> Only Irish coffee provides in a single glass all four essential food groups: alcohol, caffeine, sugar and fat. - Alex Levine <><> My luck is so bad that if I bought a cemetery, people would stop dying. - Rodney Dangerfield <><> Money can't buy you happiness .. But it does bring you a more pleasant form of misery. - Spike Milligan <><> Until I was thirteen, I thought my name was SHUT UP . - Joe Namath <><> I don't feel old. I don't feel anything until noon . Then it's time for my nap. - Bob Hope <><> I never drink water because of the disgusting things that fish do in it. - W. C. Fields <><> We could certainly slow the ageing process down if it had to work its way through Congress. - Will Rogers <><> Don't worry about avoiding temptation. As you grow older, it will avoid you. - Winston Churchill <><> Maybe it's true that life begins at fifty .. But everything else starts to wear out, fall out, or spread out. - Phyllis Diller <><> By the time a man is wise enough to watch his step, he's too old to go anywhere. - Billy Crystal And the cardiologist's diet: - If it tastes good, spit it out.

Is it true that AOL is closing its doors?

So I've been reading stuff my Followers are writing and I am beginning to question: Is AOL going to close up shop come January? I don't know how to get validation on this information. Due to JLand closing, I can't help but wonder. Anyone have solid information on this??

Up Close and Personal

This is Sheba, my eight year old mutt-a-gree. She is a mix of dacshund/manchester terrier/min pin/and italian greyhound. Sheba never leaves my side. Where ever I go, she goes: up the stairs, down the stairs, out to the car, back from the car. She sleeps on my pillow or between my legs. When I am babysitting, she stays close to my side and tolerates my giving attention elsewhere. Is she spoiled? You bet!

Like being back in high school/Like walking through a campsite

Hi Folks! Well here I am...guess the blogging bug is gonna stay with me. Today I spent time searching out old friends from JLand and tagging myself as a Follower to new blogger friends. This is so much fun and I find it quite relaxing. However...I feel as if I am back in high school and like I am walking through a campsite. Remember in high school the competition of dress, who your friends were, how many friends you had, how active you were in activities outside of school, and such? Well, traveling around the blogspot sites today reminded me of that. So many of you are decked out in awesome finery. Your expertise is evident. Being a new comer I am finding myself humbled, but encouraged. I don't see competition like I would see in high school, but I can see where it could become daunting for us new comers. It's a learning process and I'm loving it. As well, going through all the websites reminded me of the days I spent camping. I love the nights when every one had their campsite decked out to distinguish them for others and to show off some personality. It was so cool! Even more, I had so much fun viewing the creativity and whimsy and beauty of the various campsites. Those were fond memories and traveling through blogspot today brought that to mind. I don't see myself as getting too involved with the creative part of decorating my pad. I'm too left brain for that. I like to brag that my creativity comes in the manner in which I can reach a student with a learning strategy a teacher or parent did not think of. That is where my rewards are found. I get great pleasure out of visiting the sites and look forward to visiting often. Until then, stay creative, bring joy with your creative endeavors, and lucky me for reaping the benefits. Karen

Slow in the movement, but steady as she goes

Well Folks, this new blog site has all kinds of gizzmos that is boggling my mind. I am going slow, steady as she goes, and sailing through calm waters of the moment. When time permits, which means somewhere between changing newborn diapers or changing 2 yr old diapers, walking the dogs, managing an aging parent, and balancing a boyfriend relationship, I will play with the blog site and create a piece of art. Until then I am trying to get to all of you nice people and commit myself as a follower on your site. If I am not there, and you know who you are, and you want me there...respond and I will go make my mark. Best of luck to all of you faithfuls, Karen

Welcome Bloggers

I got it goin' on, folks! Thought I wouldn't be bloggin' but it is in my veins. Thanks to Helen who helped me, once again, to get myself up and running. More to follow... Love, Karen